Posted in Marriage, parenting, Social

The weekend according to Mrs X

Once a week a magical thing happens. 

It becomes Friday, and you know what that means? It means it’s the friggin’ weekend people!!!

And if you, like me, would totally love to rock your weekends, then have a read through the details of my last weekend. Use it as a guide, if you like, on how to be a completely epic housewife and parent on those two sought after days.

Let’s start with Friday night. 

Firstly, you must agree to watch a movie with your daughter in your own bed. This is of course not fatal at all, and will not make you want to fall straight to sleep. Make sure you stay conscious enough to respond to her comments, so as not to cause any upset. Make sure you don’t eat all the marshmallows, again, this may cause upset…

Ok, daughter in bed. Time to watch a TV show with the boy child, whatever you do, do not turn off the front room lights to allow better viewing. You will, without a doubt, fall into a Friday night coma, from which you may not be revived until Monday.

Boy in bed, suddenly remember he has football training in the morning. He must leave the house by 9am. Make a mental note to go to bed early and set an alarm.

Then, of course, decide that 10.45pm is the absolute best time to give your business website a revamp.

Crawl in to bed at 2am, baby will definitely wake in about 30 minutes. Don’t forget you must get up in the morning.

8.56am Saturday morning – Shit!! I am a seriously crappy and horrible parent.

Boy goes to football, housework gets done. Enter lethargy mode. Forget breakfast.

Remember at about 1 that you need to feed the family, and that you haven’t eaten yet so you need to eat shitloads. 

Eat too much. Decide to do the weekly shop tomorrow instead.

Saturday night. Get a text from my sister saying she is going to visit our grandmother in the morning. Would I like to go with her? Yeah, ok. She will be there at 9am. 

Ok, don’t forget to set an alarm.

9.05am Sunday morning, there’s a knock at the door – SHIT!!

I’m up, I look like a river corpse but I’m up. Sister makes tea, I get ready.  It is at this moment that a I remember that I have only one pair of jeans, and they need washing. However living life without jeans is not something I feel I can face today, and so I retrieve them (without being spotted) from the wash basket. Put on a big jumper because it looks cold outside, and as this will be the first time I will have left the house all week I can only go by visual aids.

Get to the nursing home and discover they have the heating on full blast.

Get a banging headache and decide that your illusive and procrastinating period is absolutely on its way as you feel like a half dead garden bouncer – check!

Spend the afternoon at the supermarket (fucking hell on earth, why do I subject myself to it every weekend??), then playing with the kids in a semi zombie state. 

Sunday night, have a bath and decide that you will most definitely have an earlier night tonight. Sit down and watch Dexter, and then another one. Oh go on then, just another one.

Oh look, it’s Monday again! Whoop-de-fucking-do…

Lather, rinse and repeat next week…

I am rocking this life shit!!

Mrs X xoxo

Posted in Friendship, Marriage, parenting, Social, social life

Helpful ideas are always welcomed….

My husband, who I love dearly, comes up with the best suggestions.

An example of one of his little nuggets of genius is the following sentence:-

“I think it would be a great idea to make the kids lunch boxes at the weekend too”…

The above sentence could only ever be uttered by someone who doesn’t have to make lunch boxes every other flipping night of the week.

He is clearly not aware that the only thing that I have to look forward to on a Friday and Saturday night, is a night off from the dreaded lunch box making!!

Making lunches has been the bane of my life for the last 9 years, and thanks to the arrival of the new tiny it doesn’t look set to end any time soon! The fact that the actual act itself only takes about 3 minutes is neither here nor there, it is simply the most mundane job that I have to do! 

I would rather iron…

Mrs X xoxo

Posted in Marriage, Mr X, parenting

Mr and Mrs X

The above picture is quite clearly a picture of myself and Mr X, we tend to dress like this and lean against walls around the home, slight pout for effect, just in case unexpected visitors knock the door. We are always prepared.

This month, Mr X and I will celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary, go us! So married for 13 years and together for another 4 before that, happily married bliss, butterflies in the stomach, goosebumps when we touch – the whole shabanging shit.

Apart from today, today he pissed me off. Big time.

Mr X is going through some stuff, and I get it, I probably honestly have more understanding of it than most, sadly. And normally I am so so sympathetic, always on hand if needed, I want to help. But there are limits.

Today we were having a discussion about a client mix up, or potential mix up, which needs to be sorted. I suggested that he call one of the clients to speak directly rather than emails back and forth, you know, the direct approach. He asked me if I would call, and I said no. Like I say, I am happy to help, but I don’t even call my sister let alone a random client, I absolutely hate phone calls. As far as I am concerned text messages are the best invention ever. Ever. You can say what you want without the possibility of awkward silences, the need to talk about crap to fill the void. I. Hate. It. And so I said no. And he accused me of having “slopey shoulders”.

I mean, what the hell does that even mean??…

We made a decision before Christmas that I would take a step back from our business. There is not currently enough work for the two of us and I sincerely missed being “mum”. And so for the last 3 weeks, I have been full steam ahead with my chores, my children, even as far as starting to “homeschool” the baby (as I am convinced that she is a frickin’ (evil) genius). I have done everything I set out to do. At no point have I passed off any of my responsibilities to anyone else (unless you count the chore chart, but that is a teaching process!).

And so to be told I was in some way shirking by responsibilities really really pissed me off. And rightly so, I think.

And so, I told him so. In no uncertain terms I informed him of all I do, and all I still have to do, and how that is my responsibility and the “admin shit” is his. I am not an on-call secretary for all the crap he just doesn’t want to do. 

He took it on the chin, like a man – ok so actually more like a scalded puppy. So then I felt guilty.

But that’s the thing. 13 years married, 17 years together. We know each other inside and out. We are soul mates, he is my rock, my raisin d’etre (sic!!) and quite simply the love of my life. So I can tell him that he has royally fucked me off and he can take it, and vice versa.

Happy marriage isn’t about never a cross word, or bottling up your emotions. It’s about communication, understanding that by saying you are pissed off you are not saying anything more than that.

13 years married and still truly, madly, deeply in love. We’re doing something right!!

Mrs X xoxo