I absolutely hate it when people moan about something and do jack shit about it.
“Oh, I hate my job!”
“Did you sign a lifetime contract? Did you allow your soul to be swallowed up by your workplace never to return? No? Then quit!” Life is far far too short for you to be spending any time doing something that you hate, that doesn’t make you happy or fulfilled. Yes of course, money is a huge issue, and a huge factor in decision making. But surely happiness should trump it? (Can I still use the term “Trump it” without this becoming a political post??).
Anyhow, I digress. This is my pet hate. Moaners who do nothing to fix there own lives.
But that brings me on to my, very personal, point. I have spent years trying to make the absolute best of my life, our lives.
For the last 15 years, my entire adult life, I have worked my arse off. In numerous jobs, with differing roles, no matter what the position I have tried my best. I can be proud of myself for that.
But why the hell does it have to be so, so hard? 15 years into adult life, and I am still struggling to hold my head above the water.
We have made choices, and sacrifices, and tried our absolute best but every single day seems to be the same grinding struggle. It’s like my own personal Groundhog Day, where everything ticks along just fine, but nothing ever changes.
Please, please don’t get me wrong. I am so happy with my lot. I have my health, my husband, my babies and a roof over our heads. I know that is a lot more than some can say. I know deep down that we have achieved a lot in our life together and overcome even more.
But I am just starting to wonder when it will be our turn? When that moment will arrive that all of our hard work and efforts and struggles will pay off, when we will start to see some return for all of our output.
God, don’t I sound like the biggest, most ungrateful shit in all the world??
But that’s the thing, this is why I started this blog, because I can say that here and not feel judged or vilified for feeling that, at the ripe old age of 33, it’s time that there was more. I don’t want to be a millionaire, I won’t even ask to be “comfortable”, I would simply be happy with being able to pay my bills, buy our food and still have enough to take the kids to the cinema or swimming. To be able to live a life, not just get through each week.
I am tired. Of the struggle and the constant battles. I want something to click, to take hold and take off. I keep hearing the saying “You get out of life what you put in”. Well, if that’s the case then I think it is well overdue for some good fortune to come our way!
We will keep working, and plod along, because you never know when that one thing, that one decision or choice, will be the right one.
And in the meantime I will keep on smiling, because I am lucky. I am rich in all but money. And that fucking sucks!
Mrs X xoxo